Wendy's naked Summer
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Good news! Wendy won a contest! Bad news! She has to spend the summer naked to claim her prize! Yes, Dipper. You can squeal now. The image was made by DArtGuy86
1. Chapter 1

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

Wendy rolled her eyes, last day of school, one last assembly...probably some scmaltzy garbage about 'moral Hygiene'...or the virtues of 'science slumber parties'.

Wendy wanted to retch, well whatever. Just one more hour and she'd be free of this snore factory for the summer. True, her dad forcing her to get a summer job was a bit of a drag...but whateve's she could work around it, she always did.

To her surprise, instead of their lame-o principal some new guy showed up...next to a badass sports car, a pile of cash and a diploma?

The guy- named **S**tanley **Lenderman**, was talking about some contest. Everyone in the school would enter for a valuable prize, he would draw a name from the box. That person would win a chance at wining: a billion dollars, a new car and an early graduation!

Naturally, Wendy practically trampled everyone to sighn up and put her name in first. When the stampede had finished, the man drew-

"Wendy Blerble Corduroy!"

For once Wendy didn't care about her lame middle name being shouted to everyone! She was going to win! She'd throw herself in the dang woodchipper to get even ONE of those prizes!

"Wendy, your our contestant! Your challenge: Strip naked on the stage and be naked for the rest of the summer!"

...there was a long silence...

Wendy chuckled..."Y-your joking right?"

"Nope, in fact if you don't come here, strip in front of everyone in the next minute, you forefit!"

Again, there was silence. Everyone was just sorta staring at her, waiting to see what she'd do...and Wendy just couldn't believe this! "You-your not serious! Y-you can't really expect me to go along with that!"

The man shrugged, "Hey whatever girl...billion dollars, new car, and a free ticket out of three more years of this prison...plenty of other people would be happy to do WORSE."

Indeed, everyone started to look eager...

The man started to countdown; "Offer expires in 30...29...28...

Wendy started to panic! She wanted all that so badly...but to be naked? For a summer?

...27...26...25...

The she realized something...she lived in the forest! She was WAY out of anyone's way! There was no way they could REALLY enforce that kind of thing!

...24...23...22...

...and she could probably sue them for sexual harassment if they got too aggressive about this!

...21...20...19...

Iin fact, she could probably use this as an excuse to get out of work and just laze around the house all summer! AWESOME!

...18...17...16...

...still...she'd still have to get naked in front of everyone here at the absolute very least...

...15...14...13...

But school was almost over...

...12...11...10...

And she knew a fast shortcut home through the forest with a lot of cover...

...9...8...7...

Plus, if she won she'd never have to see any of these losers and perverts again, so who really cared what they saw?

...6...5...4...

...was there still a downside to this?

..3..2..1-

"OKAY! I ACCEPT! HOLD ON!

The man ends the timer and smiles as Wendy jumps up and heads to the stage. "That's the spirit!" Wendy was barely listening, deciding to just get this over with. So much like ripping off a bandage she ripped off her clothes as she ran up to the stage-

"THERE! I'M NAKED! A DEALS A DEAL!" Shouts a scarlet and mortified Wendy as she desperately ignored the wolf-whistles and phone-camera flashes.

The man smiled, "Indeed, a deals a deal." Said the man as he slapped a weird bracelet on her wrist.

"What, what is this?" She asked as she struggled to get it off.

"A device that makes it impossible for you to wear clothes, it's new tech and therefore not covered under sexual harassment laws- Well, have a good summer! I'll have your prizes ready the last day!"

Before Wendy could stop him, he was gone...and then she remembered she was naked in front of everyone-

Mercifully, the bell rang. Quickly, Wendy tried to use some of her shirt to cover her-

**GLOW!**

-but the bracelet glowed and it vanished! "Oh, come on!" She shouted just as Tambry took a pic of her as she runs past, "Seriously Tambry!?" "Come on! When am I going to get a chance like this again?" Shouts back a gleeful Tambry.

Wendy tried to stay ahead of the seething mass of eager teens...but she could already feel her butt get pinched and slapped.

Eye's burning with humiliated tears, Wendy runs out of the school and down her secret shortcut- Wendy tried to keep her heart rate steady, _"Okay, Wendy. Be calm, okay...this is kinda a drag...but if I just stay in the house all summer...I'll be fine-_

...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I STILL NEED TO GET A JOB!? I'M NAKED!" Screamed Wendy.

Manly Dan shrugged, "Hey, you brought this on yourself. You made this deal, now you gotta live by it."

"Live- Dad, there's nothing in the deal that insists I go outside!"

Dan groans, "For the love of- WENDY, didn't you read the contract you signed!?"

Wendy looked at him confused, "Contract...what contract?"

Dan slapped his forehead, "Bunyan give me strength- The contract! You and the rest of the school signed when you filled your names in before your name was called?"

Wendy blanched, "That- that was a contract? I thought that was just a sign-up sheet!"

Dan just shook his head, "No, it was a contract. A contract that stipulates you need to go to the local Bargin mart tech support to get your bracelet checked on weekly."

Wendy gaped in horror, "But the Bargin-mart has the worse service! Not only will I have to wait around an HOUR, I'll have to go in the middle of the day during rush hour since that's when it's open!"

Dan nods, "Yep, not to mention it eludes to some..'other' surprises."

Wendy moaned, "Well, that's just terrific...but why do i need o still get a job? This'll be humiliating enough as it is! Besides, after Summer I'll have all the money I could ever want!"

Dan glared, "Right there, that attitude is why I made you get a job in the first place! Your too irresponsible Wendy! You never think things through You barely ever plan today, nevermind long-term! When your not mooching off that Thompson boy or your latest crush, you spend money like it's on fire! I'll bet my favorite Axe that if I allow things to go as is, you'll squander that billions within a week! And since the High school made it clear it'll honor that 'diploma' and won't take you back, you'll have no prospects at all!"

"But...I'm naked." Said a shamed Wendy almost crying.

But Dan was firm, "That's just more proof you need to learn this lesson. You let your sloth and greed override your common sense, you accepted a deal without learning all the facts, you clearly just assumed you could weasel out of your commitment- LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO...No, Wendy it's time you grow up! And if I have to humilate you to get this lesson nailed into your head, so be it!"

"Dad, please-

"No, Wendy my mind is made up! Now you have two choices; you can leave town and go to your cousins lumber-mill or I can talk to Stan about having you work at his tourist trap- he owes me one."

Wendy groaned, she hated it...but if she had to choose...she'd go with the shack, at least it was in town...

Besides...how much tourism could this rinky-dink town get anyway?

...

Meanwhile, Dipper Pines suddenly got a nice warm feeling. "What is it bro-bro?" Asked Mable. "I...don't know why...but I got this weird feeling that this summer is going to end VERY well for me..."

Both twins just shrug and go back to packing...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

Romicchi: Your in luck, one of my next projects

RasenganFin: love it

Gamelover41592: yes, yes they are..

...III...

Stan groaned, why did he do this? This was a lawsuit ready to happen! _"You know why you old codger! You owed Dan a favor...where he didn't rat you out embezzling bingo cards!"_ He said to himself.

...on the other hand business had been booming! "No, loitering! If you don't buy something every five minutes, get out!" Shouts Stan as the large group of enamored men eagerly paid so they could keep ogling the naked red head.

Wendy...was in hell. There was no way around it, the catcalls, oggling, pictures, having her but slapped or pinched everytime she got up to get something- which they deliberately asked her to do -she was on the verge of tears...there's no way she could keep this up for months!

Stupid bracelet wouldn't even let her wax her...'bush'. GAH! Why did she have to take after her father when it came to being lazy about 'landscaping'...'down there'...

And now Stan was telling her they were going to have kids here! That...well, either it be more awkward or 'meh'...she hadn't decided yet...

She looks up to see Stan bring them in, "Right, let's get this over with- No kids, your not hallucinating from paint fumes...there really is a naked girl at my counter. Wendy this is Mable and Dipper. Kids this is Wendy and- MABLE! -Girls are not allowed to be naked 24/7!" Snaps Grunkle Stan as he quickly stops Mable from throwing off her clothes. "It's just just Wendy for the Summer, Dipper EYES UP!... oh your eyes ARE up... good job Dipper." Stan says to the now VERY sweaty and nervous boy who was trying VERY hard to not look like a perv in front of the beautiful, naked red-head.

Stan quickly explains the situation with Wendy, "In any case...Mable, your parents told me you were good at art. Come with me to help me with some ad ideas. Dipper, stay here with Wendy and make sure everyone who comes to see her has to pay and not just loiter."

Dipper tries to whimper an objection...but he's already gone...

Desperately trying to keep his eyes off her...he slinks next to her very flustered and nervous...

Wendy can't help but giggle at his awkwardness...but also feels her opinion of him go up a notch or to, it was nice to meet a guy who wasn't a sleazeball...

"Hey hot tomato! I need you to get something for me off the top shelf!" Wendy growled but complied.

Dipper looks at the guy annoyed...but follows behind Wendy- eye's still averted away from HER behind of course.

Wendy tries to not leave herself wide-open...but the box was too high and too big...she had to leave her rear completely exposed-

**SLAP!**

Which allowed it to be grasped and squeezed, Wendy suppressed the chill of being violated...and the urge to cry...

"HEY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER AND APOLOGIZE!" Snapped a ticked off Dipper.

The guy snorts, "Whatever kid, this slut knew what she was getting into when she made this deal!" She goes to slap her posterior again, Wendy, still trying to keep the big box from crushing her could still do nothing-

"I SAID LEAVE HER ALONE!" Snapped Dipper as he slapped his hand away, annoyed the guy punches him and starts to beat poor Dipper up-

**CRUNCH!**

Until Wendy drops the heavy package on the jerks head...then proceeds to beat him up...

...

After the guy is arrested, his wallet stolen by Stan, and Dipper bandaged up...Dipper goes back to not looking at her-

Only to suddenly find hi head jerked toward her body by Wendy herself! "just take a look. I won't get mad. We work together you need to look at me without always looking at my face. It's nice that SOMEONE looks at me vs my body. Come on, get a good look You've more then earned it."

Dipper takes a look...and faints...

Mable is about to doodle on his face-

"Mable, look. I've drawn my fair share of things on my brothers faces while their asleep...but if you write on his face...I'll have to hurt you..."

Mable puts away the marker...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

When Dipper wakes up, Wendy thanks him but asks why he stood up for her. Dipper responds how he's used top being teased and picked on his whole life. Before Wendy could ask him to elaborate, Mable showed up and he clammed up.

Wendy regarded this confused, but more horny customers demanded her attention so she forgot about it quickly...

...

Later, when Stan sends Dipper out to put out posters. Wendy tags along as an excuse to leave the Shack for awhile...and have a little fun with Dipper...

He was just so adorable! Trying so hard to be a gentleman, getting all flustered at the slightest hint of naked girl flesh...

So naturally she playfully exposed herself to him every chance she got. Seeing him fluster, seeing him stutter, seeing him nearly fall unconscious- he brought smelling salts to prevent that from happening again though -nosebleeds, desperately trying to conceal his stiffie...

Now she knew she was being rather mean to the poor kid...but come on! It was the most fun she'd had in a week! Besides, who was it hurting? Really?"

**OW!**

Screamed Wendy suddenly as she'd been so busy swishing her rear in front of Dipper's cherry-red face, she hadn't been paying attention to where she was going! and she slammed her crotch right into a thorn bush!

Wendy whimpered as she tried to pull back only to cry in pain a second time...her BUSH was caught in the thorns! There was no way she could move without ripping out all the hair...AND IT HURT!

Wendy began to sob, Dipper began to panic to the point of hyperventilate.

"Oh, boy- Oh, no- Girl crying- Not good- Girl in clear pain- Okay- Um- I- HELP! YEAH! I'LL GO GET HELP!"

Wendy tries to call out to him, but he's already gone-

Dipper runs in a panic-

**CRACK!**

**GAH!**

So it's only natural that he trips and slams right into a tree, Dipper groans as his nose is clearly broken and bleeding but he bites down the pain and focuses back on Wendy...he then notices that the tree has a hidden compartment that his nose had apparently hit in just the right way to open.

Hopeful for something- ANYTHING to help Wendy he searches through it...finds a lever? Pushes the lever and another compartment is revealed, this one holding...a book?

Curious, Dipper opens it...and is briefly amazed by it's contents. But he stiffles this curiosity and tries to look for something that can help Wendy...

...

Dipper gulps... "Uh...so I...I found a...well I found something to help...but...I need to apply it...to your...'area'...physically...with my bare hands..." Dipper is as red as the sun...

Wendy is as red as her hair...but agrees...IT HURT SO MUCH!

And so...Wendy could only watch in embaressment/amazement...as Dipper used a a razor 'spell' to methodically shave her bush...in a hour long ritual...

Neither spoke...all was awkwardly silent...

"Hey guys! What- Mable takes one look at what's happening...and slowly backs away...and looks for some eye bleach...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Chapter 4

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

After a long, awkward agonizing hour...Dipper freed Wendy...leaving her bald as an eagle...'down there'...and Dipper would forever remember the feel of her lower...'figure' in his fantasies...

Wendy sighed in relief but then turned to her savior with a serious expression, "Dipper, look man, I'm grateful to you...I really am...but if you ever mention what you just did to anyone-

Dipper just 'zips' his lips...the blushed as he realizes he just touched his lips with that fingers that...well, best not to think of that...

Wendy smiles and thanks him...then they both stand their awkwardly for a few minutes...

"Uh...so...you can do magic?" Asks Wendy desperate for something to talk about and get over the awkwardness. Dipper eagerly jumps on this and shows her the journal.

Now genuinely curious, Wendy asks about it and pours over it...their conversation eventually leads them back to the tree Dipper found it.

Wendy gives the 'tree' a look over. "Huh...it's clearly fake...also...that branch looks like a lever...Dipper give me your belt..."

Dipper blushed but did as she asked, hastily keeping his hands on his shorts sides to keep them from falling down.

Wendy uses the belt as a cumberbund to ascend the tree, she pulls down the lever-

**CLANK!**

Revealing a secret passage into the tree! An excited Dipper can barely contain himself and runs inside.

A smirking Wendy comes down and follows him inside. Dipper looks around the bunker amazed, "Wendy, do you see this!? This is crazy!"

Wendy smirked, "Oh, I see it...a lot more then you probably wanted, nice tighty whities by the way."

Dipper blushed, "What- And then to his horror he realized that in his excitement his pants had fallen off and he'd run out of them! He was in his underwear in front of a cute naked girl!

He gulped and covered himself as Wendy giggled...

Neither noticed something lurking in the dark...or it leaving through the Bunker exit...

Dipper sighs, the belt snapped when Wendy abruptly descended from the tree and his shorts got kicked off and flung into the bowels of the bunker while he was running...so he was forced to use his shirt as a make-shift skirt...hoping to salvage some dignity he continues his investigation...

Wendy toyed with yanking down his skirt and briefs...but discarded that as a dick move as she followed him further into the bunker...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

**Wendy's naked Summer**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

**CRASH!**

Both Dipper and Wendy leapt from the death trap room just before it crushed them. They both panted exhausted...then laughed at the whole thing.

"Wow! Good thing you were playing with those weird lights, I'd never have found out about the books hidden words..." Said a grateful Dipper as he pressed his back against the opening exhausted.

Wendy smirked, "Oh, come on! I was just lucky! Your the one who deciphered those markings and figured out the way to escape! You saved my butt dude!"

Dipper blushed at the praise from the cute naked girl, he held his head up high and walked prideful, feeling on top of the-

**RIP!**

Dipper went red as he slowly looked behind and saw his briefs had somehow got snagged in the opening and ripped clean off his but...now he wore nothing but a skirt...

Wendy giggled, "Ah, tough break buddy. Nothing separating your bits from peepers- she quickly gave his skirt a small, playful tug much to his horror -except a flimsy skirt that could be ripped off at any moment." She teases.

Dipper whimpers...and starts to sob?

Wendy's eye's widen in shock, "Wait, okay, I'm sorry man-

But a fearful Dipper runs into a closet desperate to keep the last shred of his modesty safe, Wendy follows-

**CLANK!**

But In her hast she accidentally bonks the door shut. Wendy groaned and frantically tried to jimmy the door open. "OH, come on! You stupid-

**SPLASH!**

Suddenly they were sprayed with an array of water fountains, Wendy was blasted on top of Dipper...and Dipper nearly suffocated from Wendy's 'airbags'...

_"I could die happy now..." _Thinks Dipper as he starts to black out...

...

Dipper adds yet another thing to his bucket list as he awakes to Wendy's sweet lips resuscitating him...Wendy had apparently dragged him out of the room when a new door opened...into a strange new cavern.

They briefly saw a broken cryonic tube and curiously looked it over. But eventually lost interest and decided to explore the cavern more...

Wendy fanned herself, it was rather hot down here. Sure, her nudity helped, but all this running around had sorta negated that. Absentmindedly she grabs soda and chugs it down...

Wendy smirked, "Huh, weird exotic taste for- Wait, why would a soda be in an underground bunker?" She looks and sees that although the can had half the wrapper on it...it had been partially ripped off and replaced with- "S.A.M. juice? What's that?"

Dipper concerned, asks Wendy to lie down while he rifles through the nearby battered filing cabinets for more info on potential side-effects...

Wendy is touched by this concern, "Hey, Dipper...I'm sorry for teasing you back there about striping you...that wasn't okay for me, I imagine your in a rather humiliating situation right now, and I didn't help."

Dipper gulps but smiles, "It's...it's fine...y'know, the more I think about it...I might be kinda selfish here..."

Wendy looked at him confused, "Selfish? You? What are you talking about man?"

Dipper frowned, his face still flustered. "Well...here you are going through a summer of ridicule...and here I am worried about my own modesty? Maybe if you saw my body- he fiddles his hands nervously -and got a good laugh at it...you'd feel better?" He asked, clearly conflicted and embarrassed.

...Wendy was stunned...speechless...that was probably the sweetest, most selfless thing anyone had ever tried to do for her...

But something stuck out to her, _"Laugh at him? Sure, he's a noodle armed, bean-pole of a midget. But just about everyone is compared to me." _Thinks Wendy to herself. "Laugh at your body? Dipper what are you-

**KRAKA-BOOM!**

The turn just in time to see three monsters sludge down the hallway, one cloud-like and filled with lightning, one made of water and the other was like the earth...

_"My cousins lumber mill is looking better and better..." _Groaned Wendy to herself as she grabbed a nearby ax...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	6. Chapter 6

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

**ZAP!**

**GAH!**

Wendy screamed as yet another bolt hit her, she was seriously banged up. Coverd in all manner of bruises.

Dipper wimperd as he rummaged through everything, ANYTHING that could help...

"Slippers, soap, bigfoot trap, laptop- GAH! Everything's useless...Wendy's going to die..what do I- How do I- I need to save her! I- He looks down at his modesty skirt...and sighs...

Wendy was on her last leg...literally, the earth monster had banged up her right leg and she couldn't move it anymore- and the burning, pounding sensation flowing through her body like fire ants was NOT helping things! -...which gave the water monster all the time it needed to swallow her!

_"Well...this it...going out of this world naked, wet and alone...I hope Dipper at least escaped." _Thinks Wendy to herself as the water reached her neck.

"HEY MONSTERS! GET ALOAD OF THIS!"

Wendy and the monsters look around just in time to see Dipper rip off his modesty skirt and expose himself...for a moment...silence...a horrified Wendy believed for a moment that her friends scrotum had been torn off and lost...but then-

**BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!**

Laughed all the monsters, so busy were they rolling around with laughter...they let Wendy go...

A stunned Wendy was about to flee...but then-

"I'VE SEEN PINKIE TOE'S BIGGER THEN THAT!

"I'VE SEEN A PINTO BEAN BIGGER THEN THAT!

"I'VE SEEN A GRAIN OF RICE BIGGER THEN THAT!

The formerly mute monsters mocked and ridiculed the poor boy...

Wendy sees Dipper...and just his small wiener...but also his tears...Wendy felt her heart break...and then...RAGE!

The weird, fire-ant sensation returns with vengeance! Suddenly all three monsters find themselves being ripped apart and subsumed into a now glowing Wendy!

"CURSES! SHE HAS TAKEN THE S.A.M. JUICE!" Screamed the final monster before it too was vanquished into her being...Wendy stopped glowing, fell to her hands and knees and vomited out a weird black sludge that dissolved quickly when exposed to air...

A concerned Dipper runs to her, "Wendy...are you alright...?" Wendy pauses to vomit, "No...no I'm not...I have no idea what just happened, but I don't like it! But forget me Dipper, are you alright? The things they said to you...that wasn't right. From one humiliated person to another...I want you to know I'm here for you."

Dipper smiled at that, but sighed. "That's nice of you to say Wendy...but let's be honest- Yeah, your situation sucks...but your body is smoking hot! -both blush at that -And mine's...(he gestures to himself)NOT..." He said flatly.

Wendy looked at him sad...then vomited... "Look, Dipper...I know I should give you some motivational- BLECH! -But I'm currently vomiting my guts out and my head hurts...so let me just say- She kisses him full on the mouth, "Thank you." She then goes back to vomiting...

Dipper blushes...and gives a VERY goofy smile...then helps Wendy get to the Bunker medical supplies...

_"Huh..bravest thing I ever did...and no one will ever believe it- _Wendy gives him a warm smile before vomiting again -_But oddly enough...for once I don't mind..."_

...Little did he know...

Mr and Mrs Pines- along with billions of other viewers -just stared a the hit new game show that was sweeping the world, 'So you want to humiliate a teen?'...where'd they'd just watched their son get striped, almost eaten by supernatural monsters, exposed naked in front of the world, and kissed by a girl WAY older then they were comfortable with!(well, that last one was mostly Mrs. Pines)

"What did we just watch!?" Exclaimed Mrs. Pines horrified.

"I...have VERY mixed feelings of what I just saw..." Said a flustered Mr. Pines as he tried VERY hard not to look at the sexy, naked teenager...that was currently(sorta) straddling his naked son...yes...so very...very conflicted...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	7. Chapter 7

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

..Responses..

...

Wendy controlled her blush as she streaks through the busy Bargin-Mart, normally she'd be mortified by this weekly check-up...but this time-

"Hey, sweet stuff? How about you-

**ZAP!**

-This time she had back-up. Dipper was zapping perverts left and right with a size altering stone he'd read in his journal, also throwing many spells that he learned in the journal-

"Hey, sweet cheeks-

**FIREBALL!**

"Hey cutie! Yah wanna-

**LIGHTNING BOLT!**

"Hey-

**"FREEZE BLAST!"**

"GAH! I WAS JUST GOING TO GREET YOU TO COME INTO THE STORE!"

Screamed the now half-frozen greeter.

But they were too busy running to hear him, Wendy was liking this...True, she was still embarrassed, still naked, the sudden freak rise of temperature burning her feet, blistering her skin...but Dipper by her side made it more bearable...

Ignoring the whispers, catcalls and photos taken of her, she goes to get her bracelet 'tested'...by waiting three hours in the long-ass line! Wendy graoned, she wanted to get this over with as soon as possible-

"HEY WENDY! HOW'S MY WINNER DOING!?" Wendy moaned as Mr. Lenderman showed up out of nowhere, "Hello, my dear. I think we can skip the test today, we got something more exciting for you! Also, Dipper, you attack me I'm allowed by law to have my army of goons rough up and arrest you both."

Said the man without ever breaking his smile, stride, or even looking back as Dipper had come behind him to whack him in the head. Dipper pauses, looks behind him to see said army of goons...and drops the bat in resigned defeat.

"There's a good lad, part of today's challenge I'm gonna give your lady-friend the chance to earn another billion to your prize at the end of the summer!"

Wendy sighed, "Okay, I'll bite...what's the catch?"

Mr. Lenderman laughed, "Ah, nothing like a street-smart, jaded youth to give one hope of a better tomorrow! To answer your question: no real catch...you just need to go through this 7-mile spanking machine!"

He shouts while pointing to a large line of people who looked eager to spank anyone that crawled between their legs. Wendy sighed, "And if I refuse to do this?"

"You forefit all your other prizes and have to stay naked all summer for free!"

"...Right...of course...what was I thinking?" Said Wendy sarcastically...she gives a small wimper...gets on her hands and knees...starts to crawl...and-

**SLAP!**

**OW!**

**SLAP!**

**SON OF A NUT!**

**SLAP!**

**HEY! NO RINGS!**

Dipper gaped at this in horror, "why do some people find spanking arousing!? This is just terrible! SHE'S IN PAIN!" Cried Dipper desperately.

"Yes, she is! And that pain is brought to you by our sponsor: KillMableKill! Killing annoying and parasitic Karma Houdini relatives since when I founded it!" Exclaimed Mr. Lenderman.

"Wait, what was that?" Asked Dipper, but the man was already gone...

**KRAKA-BOOM!**

And a freak lightinign storm was tearing everything up around them!

...

Wendy let out a moan of pleasure, "Thanks Dipper...your a life-saver." She said happily. Dipper continued to blush as he massaged her rear end with a special 'health restoration spell' he found in the journal...he was going to get SO Many 'special dreams tonight! The weather had also suddenly gotten very pleasant...

Dipper continued to blush as she began to talk; "Uh, listen...Wendy? It turns out in my hast to get you a spell to help your...(gulp)'hair' be untangled from the bush, I overlooked a part where it says the razor spell well actually make the hair in that...(wimpier) 'area' grow faster, I'm sorry, I should've-

"Relax Dipper, no harm no foul..you just need to shave it for me again- "WHAT!?" Exclaimed Dipper stunned. Wendy broke free from her pleasureful stupor to realize what she'd just said! "Er- I mean me! YEAH! I'll shave it is what I mean! "Wendy chuckles nervously, "Right I think my buts good enough!" She quickly gets back up.

Dipepr gulps... "Uh, now might not be the best time to say this...bu that guy told me to tell you that you have an additional challenge: Get a picture of a Goblewonker."

Wendy sighed irritably, "Well...can't be worst then the last thing, right?"

Dipper discretely 'knocks on wood' to hopefully undo the jinx she had unwittingly set in motion. He then gets a thoughtful look, "Wait...wasn't there something else I needed to do today...?"

...

"I now pronounce you gnome conglomerate and Naked girl hostage!"Exclaimed the hot elf preacher. "TESTIFY!" Exclaimed the congregation in the forest chapel. "DIPPER, WHERE ARE YOU!?" Exclaimed a naked Mable as she was dragged of to the 'Honeymoon suite'..

...

Mr. Lenderman pops up, "Hey, come on. If you can't remember what it was, how important could it have been?" He snaps his fingers.

Dipper eyes glaze over, "Yes, clearly not important...I'll just forget about it now and help Wendy." He says in a monotone fashion before walking over to Wendy as she walks to the beach...

Mr. Lenderman turns to the readers and winks...

...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	8. Chapter 8

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

"Thanks again for letting us use your boat to get to Scuttlebutt island Soos." Said an appreciative Wendy. "No problem dudette." Acknowledged Soos. They then listened in on Dipper giving some very genre-savvy advice regarding cameras, and how he got several dozen of them to make sure they got the beasts picture and avoid most of the usual 'we lost the camera/the camera is broke cliches'.

Wendy applauds this, "Wow, that's really smart Dipper. Thank you for thinking of that," Dipper blushed at the compliment.

Soos smirked and whispered to Wendy. "Hey, wanna mess with Dipper and throw several of the camera's off the ship to make him panic?" He asked mischievously.

Wendy giggled and was about to respond with a yes- Then her brain kicked in, "Wait, what am I thinking? I NEED that picture, a prank like that would just frack me over! Besides, Dipper clearly worked hard on this...I don't want to mess that up for him." She sighed, "Sorry Soos...I'm afraid that's a NO." She admitted reluctantly.

Soos sighed but nodded. "Shoot, oh well, At least well have fun on scuttleBUT island- He giggled at the joke. Wendy smirked as well, "Yeah, with a name like that-

**ROAR!**

Suddenly, the Gobblewonker rose from the depths and snatched Wendy off the ship. "WENDY!" Screamed Dipper and he grabs the wheel before Soos can do anything and drives after her!

"Wait, dude! What are you doing?" Pleaded Soos. "Something REALLY stupid!" Admitted Dipper. "Oh, okay." Said Soos right Before Dipper rammed the ship right up the sea beasts ass-

**BOOM!**

Everyone in the lake turned to look at the flaming wreckage in the middle of the lake...not a single living soul could be seen...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	9. Chapter 9

**Tales of the Falls**

**I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!**

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Dipper groaned as he awoke, he remembered an explosion...flaming wreckage...and then...what? Dipper got to his feet...he saw he was on a beach, a sign nearby said 'scuttlebutt' island, he was naked, flaming wreckage was strewn about-

"Wait, I'm NAKED!?" A flustered Dipper shouted as he covered himself...but suddenly he saw something that made all thought of modesty flee his mind...

Wendy...being crushed by a mechanical Gobblewonkers head...bleeding out...

"WENDY!" Screamed Dipper he rushed to try to lift it off...he tried and he tired...but nothing... Quickly he tried to remember the combat spells he'd learned, maybe if he used it like welding torch...

**ROAR!**

Dipper turns around just in time to see a bunch of weird creatures who looked like a bunch of weird mechanical parts and artificial monster bits slapped together, they came screaming at them. Numerous limbs, knives, sparking wires flailing in their direction.

"RUN! My ro-BIT's Bio-mechanical brainwave generator got damaged in the crash and now it's responding badly to the Thaumaturogical energy surrounding the town!" Screamed Mcgucket as her ran past them.

Dipper didn't have time to imagine how ridiculous this was! He just fire, lightning and ice like there was no tomorrow!

He was doing good until one slip passed and body slammed him just as he burned it, Dipper screamed as the fire consumed him...but he kept fighting! He pauses only long enough to use a wakened ice spell to douse the fire.

Sadly this i enough of a distraction to allow another creature to slam his foot, breaking it, the bone sticking out! Fighting back tears...Dipper grabbed a bone shard in his leg to stab it in the eye...and used it as a conduit to direct lightning directly to the mechanical nightmares brain...ignoring his limp leg...Dipper thought on...

Wendy coughed blood, "D...dipper." She croaked...

...

Dipper laughed...it nearly killed him...but he'd saved her! All the creatures are dead! Wendy would be fine! He just needed to get that thing off Wendy and he'd be...

And then he saw it...the puddle of blood beneath Wendy had grown...Wendy wasn't breathing...

Dipper ran to her, screamed at her, checked for a pulse, did CPR...but it was no use...Wendy was dead...

Dipper cried...

...

Everyone across the nation in their homes watching cried...

...

Meanwhile, something in the lake...also watched...

**_".regnuH I...emoc sah emit ehT"_**

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	10. Chapter 10

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

The werewolf preacher stood by the casket solemnly...

"We are gathered here today to see off someone who's completed his journey through our lives"

"Oh, this person my have been trouble at times. But the conflict the person brought would only make us richer as we strived to overcome it."

"As we commit this person to the ground and out of the circle of our existence. Think not what this person cost us, but rather what they GAVE-

"Are we seriously at a funeral for a giant floating head's marital problems?" Whisperd a naked Wendy to an equally naked Dipper as they sat in the audience.

Dipper shrugged, "Yeah, apparently flying heads like to consider their inner-demons as people and when they are resolved...they like to have a funeral for it to both symbolically let them go from their lives AND give respect to the darkness that lives within is, for without darkness there is no light and one should give respect to that..."

Wendy nods, "Wow...that's deep...but explain to me why were sitting through this 9 hour funeral?"

Dipper shrugged, "Well Mr. Floating head did resurrect you- At the cost of you being eaten!" Pointed out Wendy annoyed. "...Yes...but then he spit me out and resurrected me in exchange for you saving his marriage! I mean look at them, they look so happy."

Wendy looked over as the two giant floating head monsters nuzzled each other affectionately. Wendy smirked... "Yeah, that was pretty sweet...a lot of beeping noises for some reason." She mused out loud confused.

...many hours later...

The two naked adolescents walked home, "So we can't rely on him again?" Asked Wendy. "Afraid not, apparently he can only grant three wishes in one lifetime and he used the first one up 30 years ago to guy who needed a 'tear' -whatever that is." Explained Dipper, he turns to Wendy. "Which reminds me."

He holds Wendy's hands. "Wendy, watching you crushed to death...and then getting eaten made me realize...life's too short...not in our case since we had a little cheat, but we can't rely on that so it is still short- look your the most awesome person I've ever met and I'm not saying that just because you've been naked all this time- Okay, well I'd be lying if that didn't make you sexy- Wait, that came out wrong- GAH!" Dipper throws up his hands in frustration of his poor social skills, "Frack it! I'm just going for it!" He gets on one knee and pulls out a ring, "Wendy will you do me!?" He shouts in a squeaky, panicky voice.

Wendy looks at him blankly... "What?"

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	11. Chapter 11

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Wendy gave a good long look at this boy- No, this MAN who'd come to mean so much to her...there was only one way to respond to this:

She burst out laughing. Dipper groaned, "Okay, that's it. I'm done with woman. Writing's on the wall, I guess I'm just going gay." He turns to a guy walking by. "Sir, may I buy you a drink? Come on, who you fooling with that toupee?"

Wendy got control of herself, "No, no! Sorry man, it's just...you and me, were both naked, we both nearly died and then you proposed? Come on, how can I not laugh at this ridiculous situation? Where did you even get a ring? And where were you carrying it? Again, your naked!"

Dipper gulped and blushed, "Uh...it was in the floating heads stomach...I assume- "Assume? How could you 'assume', either it was or it wasn't." Asked Wendy confused.

Dipper went even redder, "Well, I assume because I didn't have the ring when I was eaten...and I HAD it when I was coughed up...lodged...in me..."

Wendy went green, "Right...defiantly NOT taking that ring now." Said Wendy firmly. Dipper sighed, Wendy puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. "But look man...you are right. Life is too short and we need to live it while we can...but forget marriage! If you ask me I owe you for saving my life." She states as she leans in closer...her hand slowly making it's way down from his shoulder...to his chest..to his stomach...to-

Dipper made a little whine sound, "Uh...Wendy? Your grabbing my- "I know what I'm doing." Said Wendy with smirk as she kissed him, "The question is...what are YOU doing?"

Suddenly, Dipper found himself pinned to the ground, he was sweating bullets. "Wha- Wendy, wait! I- I don't know what to do!" "Neither do I! This will be a learning experience for both of us!" She makes out with him more! "B-but it's broad daylight on the middle of the beach! Let them see!" Said Dipper in between gasps of air. "Were on a deserted part of the beach, no one around you big baby! No enough talk, time for some 'Carpe Diem'!"

...

Wendy was...sorta right...there wasn't any people around...camera's broadcasting live throughout the country on the other hand...

Mrs. Pines wretched into a bucket...while Mr. Pines did his best not to look at the sexy, naked redhead...

...

Although they never got a picture of the Gobblewonker, apparently 'someone' recorded their antics and apparently that counted...yet another reward added to Wendy's account...

Not that Wendy cared...she was busy with a 'diffrent' reward(SMALL as it was), after her near death experience...she more or less became an adrenaline junkie...mostly with making love to her best friend...

Dipper had lost count of how many times he'd been randomly grabbed, had his clothes ripped off...and ravished in a new location...

Mable's bed, Stan's bed, Soo's bed, Manly Dan's bed, Tambry's bed, Robbie's bed, Robbie's couch, Robbie's roof, Robbie's grave plot, all over!

...

Today was a grand day, Mable was about to unveil her masterpiece: Wax Stan! ...or she would if she could get to the podium! "Sweetie, what's the hold up?" Shouts Stan from the stage.

Mable groaned as she rubbed her aching back while slowly walking forward. "Sorry Grunkle Stan! My bed's all broken for some reason! And it smells weird!" "It was a miracle that bed held as long as it did! It was mostly held together by stains after all...as for the smell...just keep taking antibotics, you should be fine..."

Mable moaned, but nodded as she dragged herself onto the stage...

Meanwhile, Dipper looked toward Wendy as she sat beside her at the ticket booth, "Uh, listen. Wendy? The last week or so has been the best of my life...but, we've run through my wardrobe rather fast. This is my last outfit, if it gets destroyed. I'll have nothing left." "You don't say", Said Wendy interested.

"Right, so maybe if we could just ease up a bit- WHOA!" Screamed Dipper as Wendy pounced on him and dragged him underneath the table cover, soon the confetti remains of Dipper's clothes were streaming everywhere...

Had the townspeople not been so focused on being mad at Stan cheating them out of their pizza, they would've heard some interesting sounds...

...

Waiting for everyone to leave, a happy(yet still a bit annoyed) and naked Dipper Crawled out from under the table cloth with Wendy. "Dang it Wendy, why did you do that!? I told you that was the last of my clothes! Now I'm going to have to go through the whole summer completely naked!"

"Oh, no! How terrible." Said Wendy sarcastically. Dipper sighed, "Okay...fair enough."

waiting for nightfall, Dipper streaked to the town. with nothing covering his modesty but his wallet, Desperate to buy clothes...but ironically, every clothing store had a 'no shoe's, no shirt, no pant's, no service' rule(yes, they actually included pants for once, just yesterday actually...). Worse, their security is so tight that all his attempts to steal them only lead to him getting tazzed, kicked in the nuts repeatedly, banned from all the clothing stores in town, and thrown out on the street...and they confiscated his wallet too!

Finally, he's forced to return home tried, penniless and naked. Mable pauses to vomit at the sigh of him coming in before asking, "what?" "I don't want to talk about it." Said dipper annoyed.

Once out of eyesight, he find himself once more grabbed and and flung onto the floor of the wax figurine exhibit.

Dipper sighed, "Really? Again?" Wendy shrugged, "well, if you don't want to..." "No...as much as I want to stay mad at you...I can't...I JUST can't...your too awesome Wendy...and so is the sex." Admitted Dipper with a resigned smile.

Wendy smirks, "great!" And they go at it...completely oblivious to one of the wax figures grabbing an Axe...and heading over...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	12. Chapter 12

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

While the two lovers went at it like a couple of starving dogs, a dark figure came up behind them raised the axe high-

**CRACK!**

Wendy in a fit of oblivious passion, pivoted her rear backward for a rather grand 'thrust' and so large and powerful was her rear, the figure was SNAPPED in two! While the two lovers continued on oblivious...the other dark figures in the room...quickly decided to cut their losses and simply sneak out of the room...ans sneak back later when the deed was done...

Dipper and Wendy never noticed this at all...

...

Dipper fumbled about awkwardly upstairs, he had no clothes...being naked in front of Wendy was(eventually) one thing, but in front of everyone else? It was too embarrassing! Well, at least it was a nice day...none of those random heat flashes that seemed to be popping up lately...

Suddenly he heard Stan screaming, wasting only one second to grab a nearby towel and head downstairs to make sure his grunkle was alright. He finds him, the police, Mable and a beheaded Wax Stan.

"What happend?" Asked Dipper. "Wax Stan was murdered and- Why are you in a towel?" Asked Mable uncomfortable. "Uh, I was drying off after getting out of the shower when I heard Grunkle Stan scream." Lied a flustered Dipper quickly.

Mable blinked, but shakes her head. "Whatever, just get some clothes on, FAST. I'll handle things here."

Knowing refusing would look suspicious, Dipper dose so. To his surprise he finds a message on his bed. It was a note from lenderman asking HIM to go give the second part of the message to her for her next challenge.

Dipepr frowns, "Wait...why is he doing all this? What dose he get out of-

Slenderman pops out of nowhere, **"You will not question my motives or figure them out and just continue as you were doing." **He instructs as he snaps his fingers.

Dipper's eye's glass over. "I will not question your motives or figure them out and just continue what I have been doing." Said Dipper in a monotone voice.

Slenderman is about to leave...but then gets a wicked idea. He opens a window, places Dipper by said window, releases Dipper from his trance, teleports outside the door, changes his shape to that of Mable as she begins to pretend skipping to the door singing a merry tune while pressing his ear against the door.

"Lah-lah-lah! Going to my room! Lah-lah-Lah!" He's rewarded with the sound of Dipper's panicked squeak and a crash and yelp of pain as he banged his shin on something.

Meanwhile, Dipper panicked. If Mable saw he wasn't dressed yet she'd demanded an explanation and he REALLY didn't want to explain how and why her bed was now broken...

Seeing the door stating to open he jumps through the window as it's the closest hiding spot. He yelps as he bangs his shin on the windowpane, he quickly hangs from the gutters, but groans when he saw the towel had been snagged off him and was clinging to the windowpane...

"Who left this window open? And how'd this towel get out here?" Said 'Mable as she came to it, Dipper's heart sank as she took the towel and looked the window shut...leaving him dangling naked...

"Well...crud..."

...

After falling into a bramble bush, Dipper stealthily streaked to Wendy's and climbed into her window-

**SLAM!**

Dipper screamed in pain as the window slammed down on his mid-section, "Gotcha pervert! Tried to sneak on our sis, will you!? Well we- Oh, wait." They pause to take a look at Dippers rear and groin- "No dick. Must be a naked girl that's involved with that naked-bet-contest-thing. Sorry little lady, go on ahead." They free a mortified Dipper who was trying VERY hard to hold back the tears of humiliation of being mistaken for a girl when naked(again). He falls flat on his face and looks up to see a smirking Wendy. She turns to her brothers, "She a friend of yours Wendy?" Asked one of them.

Wendy has to suppress a laugh, "Yep, me and this LITTLE LADY go WAY back." Dipper hides his face in shame. "Since you let him go and apologized, I'll let you guys off with a warning. But next time you bobby trap my window I'm throwing into the compost heap."

As soon as they were gone, Wendy grabs Dipper and makes love to him before he can say anything...neither notice the intense hot flash that briefly bursts over the town

**GAH!**

**WHY DO WE BURN!?**

Screamed many people...

Dipper and Wendy noticed nothing...

...

When they were done, Dipper told her about her next challenge: finding out who 'killed' Wax Stan. Wendy was quick to prove her dad didn't do it as well as identify the axe as a Left-handed axe. As they were going out though- "Listen Wendy, do you have any spare clothes? I really don't want other people seeing me naked."

"Oh, no. How horrible." Said Wendy sarcastically as she put on a glove just so the bracelet could flash it away. "...Point taken." Admitted a resigned Dipper as he follows his equally naked friend outside.

Fortunately, everyone seemed to be at the hospital with third degree burns so no one saw Dipper- or if they were, were in too much pain to notice. All the suspects were also at the hospital and on painkillers, so it was very easy to quickly prove...that none of them did it...

"None of them?! How could that be?!" Asked Wendy annoyed. "I don't get it either...maybe we missed something. Let's go back to the Shack and give the crime scene." Suggested Dipper.

"Good idea, but first..." She grabbed Dipper and they made love inside the MRI machine...

Fortunately, no one noticed as yet ANOTHER hot flash was bringing in even MORE patients...

...

Later, they come home to find it empty. A discarded note reveals that in an attempt to fix Mable's back with a 'home-remedy'...Stan actually made it a hundred times worse and she had to be rushed to ER.

Also, the last heat flash damaged most of the wax figurines so he wants them thrown out. Wendy and Dipper obliged to do so as they investigated, ans then Dipper noticed something about a leg he was about to throw out-

"Wait, this shoe has a hole in it..." Dipper takes out the photo of the footprint and compare it. "It's a match! And all the other wax figures have the same. But wait, dose that mean that the wax figures are-

-Alive? Quite so, my boy!"

Wendy and Dipper turn around just as the wax figures advance...

...To Be Continued...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...right now...

"Huh, that was surprisingly easy." Said Dipper a little later as they were throwing wax figure parts into the fire. "Well between most of their number too damaged from the hot flash, you quickly figuring out heat is their weakness, and the fact wax really isn't that strong to begin with...it wasn't really that hard." She snaps one of the wax arms in two for emphasis.

Wendy smirks, "Y'know...hearing all those wax people complain and be outraged to see us making love in front of them...it's giving me ideas..." She shatters another wax arm by simply clenching her but cheeks for emphasis.

Dipper gets a major chubby from that but quickly regains his composure, "What?! No, Wendy please! I've gone along with a lot of what you want because I feel bad about what you've been forced to go through... but please don't make me make love in front of other people! Putting aside how embaressing it is, I REALLY don't want to explain to Mable what we did to her bed!"

Wendy sighed but nodded, he'd been a very good sport about all he'd to him lately and a good friend. The LEAST she could was compromise.

"Okay, we'll put a pin in that for now." Said Wendy as she tossed coolio's head into the fire, "You two do it so much you might be knocked up dawg." Said the rapper right before he melted.

Both Wendy and Dipper's eye's bulge out and begin to panic...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	13. Chapter 13

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Fortunately, their panic was short-lived as Lenderman called to explain that Wendy had they had a IUD installed in her uterus during her last check-up. Which freaked out Wendy for a second...but for some reason she immediately stopped caring, felt no need to question why he did that...and found herself inexplicably focusing on the joy that she could continue having sex with Dipper with NO consequences...

A NEW idea for a place to make love had also popped in her head...

...

Gideon Gleeful whistled a happy tune as he walked upstairs. Another day, another successful show...and more unwitting sheep to add to his flock! With so many people being drawn to his tent of Telepathy, it was only a matter of time before the mystery Shack...

-Wait, what was that noise?

Gideon curiously walks over to his bedroom, slowly opens the door, peeks inside-

**GAH! WHO ARE YOU!? **

**WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED!?**

**CHEEZ IT!**

Screamed the larger of the two naked figures on the bed, Gideon couldn't make out who they were. But he was too furious to care. Calling on the magic of his lucky bolo tie-

**ZAP!**

-To curse the smaller one as he follows the large one out the window. Gideon tries to run to the window to curse them again...but they're already streaking out into the night, far out of his range.

Gideon grumbled, vowed vengeance...then yelled at his dad to burn his bed...and bring some ice cream...

...

Dipper groaned as he woke from bed...then cursed as he realized in his exhaustion last night, he forgot to set up his special 'silent' alarm(basically a clock that squirts water at him at a certain time). He's overslept! He needed to leave before Mable woke up and saw him naked! He quickly jumped out of bed-

-And right in front of an equally tired, equally naked Mable.

Dipper just stands there stunned and mortified...only for Mable to SMILE at what she sees? "Dang! I'm looking good today! "Shouts Mable as she rubs the sleep from her eyes and walks out of the room.

Dipper frowns, "What? What just happened here? Why didn't Mable freak out when she saw- Dipper's eye's widen in horror as he looks down at himself and sees something that wasn't there before...correction, TWO things that weren't there before and something that SHOULD be there but no longer was...and all this seen through his now much LONGER hair.

"Mable thought she was looking in a mirror...Mable thought she was looking at her GIRL reflection...I'M A GIRL!" Screamed Dipper horrified.

Grunkle Stan hears this from downstairs, "Called it." He says unsurprised as he flips a page of his Gold Chain Magazine apathetically...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	14. Chapter 14

**Wendy's naked Summer 14**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Dipper was flat out panicking! Fortunately 'his' now much longer hair was perfect for covering 'his' body. Quickly covering himself with it, he rapidly grabs the journal and quickly reads through it!

Using a detection spell on himself, he found the curse that caused it and a bright orb rose from him and went out the window, seeking the curses source. Desperate not to lose it. However, so focused on he was in regaining his manhood that he didn't notice his hair's knots coming undone and the wind blowing his hair behind him.

**CRASH!**

Nor did he notice anything in front of him-

"Sorry!"

Shouted Dipper as he knocked over old ladies sipping tea-

**CRASH!**

"My fault!"

He shouted as he accidentally knocked over the town statue of Nathaniel Northwest

**CRASH!**

"I'll pay for that later!"

He shouts as he knocks over Durland and Blub's house of cards...

Blubs and Durland glare after the naked girl. "Put out an APB for Mable Pines." States Blubs into his walkie annoyed, "And bring Tazers!" Shouts Durland.

...

Dipper's eyes widen as he looks up at the tent of Telepathy, the trail ended here... Now that Dipper thought back...yeah...he remembered a flash of light...and his wang burning a bit...

_"Oh, no...something here lead to me being a girl? We slept in this guy's BED! Even if I weren't naked and emasculated, how would I ever convince him to-_

"Well, hello there! Mable Pines is it? I can't say I've had the pleasure."

Dipper realized three things:

1\. Gideon gleeful was standing in front of him.

2\. He was naked AND uncovered.

3\. He thought he was his sister...and was FLIRTING with him!"

Dipper had to repress his gag reflex as he covered himself mortified. "Uh, I can explain. I was in the shower and-

"It's fine, my sweet. You don't need to explain, you've obviously had a rough day, why don't you step inside so I can...take care of you?" He asked in flirty yet creepy and intense kind of way.

_"This is sick and wrong!" _Thinks Dipper to himself...but he was desperate to get his scholong back...what choice did he have?

Meanwhile, while Dipper wasn't looking. Gideon made a quick call into his cellphone, "Daddy? Listen good, your too immediately destroy any scrap of clothing that COULD be used to cover one's modesty, your to make it look like a remodeling job gone wrong, and you WILL take responsi9bility for said fiasco! Understand?" He hissed silently to his terrified father.

"C-consider it done!" Whimpered Buddy. "Good, see you inside!" Said Gideon gleefully as he turned back to help 'mable' get inside...while giving 'her' rear a nice once over...

...

"Sweet mercy I'm on fire!" Screamed Stan. "Relax Stan I have...your...ointment." Said Wendy in disgust, she had no idea WHY her challenge had to be getting the tattoo off Stan's back...but between switching his sunscreen with cooking oil...and then...peeling his skin off...]

The less said about what happened next the better...

After delivering the skin/tattoo, sh saw...a naked Mable? Wait, no...the birthmark...could it be?

Dipper? How-

"Nope, I have the second journal, here's the spell to make me a guy again, and we are NEVER to speak of this day EVER again..."

...

Gideon giggled... "This has been the best day ever..."

...

Soon, Dipper was in a ritual circle and he was instructing Wendy how to prepare the potion that would restore him as a man...or boy at least.

Wendy is about to put in the last ingredient when she sees something in the journal-

**Warning: if you don't add the last ingredient, the victims dick will come out smaller then before and permanently stunted(Geez, I feel sorry for the poor SOB who had to learn this the hard way)**

Wendy looked at the last ingredient...then briefly at a nearby garbage can...then she shakes her head, "Nah, that be cruel. Besides his willy is tiny and cute enough as is." She giggled.

the ritual complete, Dipper goes back to his former appearance...we except for his hair. It's staid long but it goes from Mabel's bouncy curls to a more roughish appearance. When Wendy sees him like that she gets very hot and bothered by it and can't help but stroke it. When Dipper says he's going to cut it Wendy protests and tries to play it cool by saying that he looks cooler with his hair like that. Dipper, being Mason Pines, immediately switches sides of the subject and says he's going to need more conditioner...

In any case, to Wendy's surprise it's Dipper who takes initiative and asks for sex, Wendy could hear the mumbling of- 'need to get his scent off me...remind myself I'm a guy...

Wendy shrugged, whatever, sex was sex...

But as they went to make love in Robbie's kitchen, Dipper couldn't help but think he was forgetting something...

...

"But I didn't do anything!" Screamed Mable as she was arrested, Tazed, and beaten up by the police.

"IN MEMORY OF CASTLE FLUSH, WE WILL PUMMEL YOU!" Scream Durland!

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	15. Chapter 15

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Thankfully Mable hadn't been around the Shack lately for some reason- Dipper was too grateful to find out why -but he knew he couldn't keep on like this! Eventually, someone was going to see him naked!

Grunkle Stan was too apathetic to look at him, Dipper was able to distract the tourists with various knick knacks and other goo-gaws while he did his chores, Soos...was Soos.

Of course, Wendy's insatiable APPETITE was not helping things!

Speaking of which...she was dragging him with her once again...to an abandoned grocery store? "So...were going to make love here?" Asked Dipper relieved, at least it wasn't another public place...

Wendy smirked, "Yes, but we need to get you ready first- Before dipper can say anything Wendy dumps a weird elixir on him-

**POOF!**

Dipper's eyes widen in horror, his willy was gone! He was a girl again!

"Wendy, why?!" He demanded. Wendy just smirked, "Well first...I wanted to see you go from MOSTLY dickless...to just flat out dickless, won't lie. Not much of a difference- Dipper blushed...and whimpered...-Secondly Now I get to deflower the GIRL you." She said with a devilish grin.

And very soon...they were a whirlwind of brown and orange hair...

...

"Man...why isn't Wendy here? We don't usually do this sort of thing without her!" Asked Nate as he and the other teens . Lee and the others rolled their eyes. "Uh...dude? She stuck naked all summer? Obviously she's been avoiding us! Who wouldn't?" Said Tambry annoyed.

"Oh, yeah..." Remembered Nate...then he smirked perversely, "Do you think we could invite her to-

"Finish that thought and I'll nut you." Said Tambry darkly... With that happy thought...they remained quite as they reached the abandoned store, briefly surprised that the door was already open and-

**WHOA!**

**WHAT THE!?**

**SWEET BLOODY FRACK!?**

**HELLO!**

**WENDY!?**

Sure enough, they walk right on a naked Wendy plowing an equally naked little- ... girl? -in the middle of the floor?!

Dipper whimpered, thankfully Wendy had turned him back to a boy mere seconds before they came in...but this was STILL humiliating...

He tried to get up to make a run for it, but to his horror Wendy was holding him DOWN! "Where you going? Were not done here, not by a LONG shot!" She said wickedly. Dipper 'epped'. She looks up to her friends, either leave or watch but this is still happening and YES Tambry you may take as many pictures as you want."

Tambry was a flurry of pictures...the boys all sat down-

**RIGHT, I think this has gone on long enough!**

Everyone looks up to see two elderly ghosts, bot look annoyed. They quickly explain how they died and how they were deadset on killing all teens who came to their store...

"But you! You filthy tramp! Will do something particularly nasty with you for defiling that kid!"

"No! Wait, don't!" Shouts Dipper as he quickly jumps up, exposing his still very WET body- much to everyone horror/delight - She's my girlfreind! I gave her permission to do this!" He leaves the 'more or less' part unsaid.

"Dang boy! You the man!" Shouts Pa...only to wither under Ma's reproachful glare. "-But...VERY irresponsible! Kids your age have no place doing that kind of activity." Corrects Pa quickly.

Dipper begs, "Please! Is there anything I can do to save her and her friends?"

To his horror...they suggest he do the lamby dance...complete with costume!

**_Well... who wants a lamby, lamby, lamby?_**  
**_I do! I do!_**  
**_So, go up and greet your mammy, mammy, mammy_**  
**_Hi there! Hi there!_**  
**_So march, march, march around the daisies,_**  
**_Don't, don't, don't you forget about the ba-by!_**

The elder ghosts applaud and so dose...a very hot and bothered looking Wendy?

"Right, I'll just take back the costu-

"NO! I mean...may he keep it?" Asked Wendy quickly. Ma shrugged, "I don't see why not...but yah'll need to leave NOW."

They all left...Wendy whispered something in his ear...that made Dipper get a VERY goofy grin on his face.

"Hey lamb chops! Where you going? Your mom?" Laughed Robbie. Dipper just smirked, "No, I'm going to have sex with the hottest, most AWESOME girl in town in your BED...how are YOU spending your Saturday?"

Robbie gaped...

"BURN!" Shouts the other teens...Wendy and Dipper run off laughing...

Robbie mouth opened and closed...finally...

"WAIT, WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT MY BED!?

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	16. Chapter 16

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Dipper gulped as he made he made his way naked across the street. Wendy, wanting to 'spice' things up...had him doing 'errands'...in town...NAKED.

Dipper was fairly certain Wendy got a 'thrill' seeing him humiliated...annnnnd...he was just too dang 'submissive' to say no to her..especially when sex was involved...

Fortunately, the random heat flashes had burnt so many people, most weren't outside...but his 'errand' was to buy lunch(it was embarrassing how a simple 20$ bill was overkill to cover his loins)...which meant he had to talk to lazy Susan...

Fortunately, she was so busy figuring out how to balance the budget between roadkill delivery and bribes to the health inspector that she wasn't even paying attention to him when he gave his order- didn't hurt that the counter and his small height completely covered him from his sight...

UNFORTUNATELY, the meal cost EXACTLY 20$, thus costing Dipper his only covering while he waited for the food. Worse-

"Tra-Lah-Lah!"

Dipper could practically feel his loins shrivel up into his scrotum as he heard the familiar sounds of his sister as she and their grunkle entered the diner...

Quickly he jumped to hide behind a table. Sadly, Mable still spotted him. "Hey bro-bro! Going topless in the heat are yah?" Dipper, realizing his torso was exposed but everything else was covered.

He blushed and chuckled nervously, "Heh, heh...you caught me." "So what are you doing here Dipping sauce? Actually, where have you been this summer? It's...been kinda rough without you..between my marriage, my divorce, my re-marriage, my third divorce and my arrest...yeah, just really rough.

Dipper, being distracted/self-conscious of his nudity- and his sisters tendency to babel similar things after eating too many sugar packets -didn't take her statement as seriously as he probably should have. "Oh, you know...I've been doing...this and that...as to why I'm here- His eye's desperately darted around the room and landed on the 'manliness tester' -I'm here to beat the manliness tester and win free pancakes!" He lied quickly.

Mable laughed, "You? A man? I- "Mable, Dipper IS a man." Interrupted Stan flatly without looking from the menu, the gaped at him surprised. "Wait, what?" The both said in surprise.

Mable chuckled, "Y-your not serious, you do know he listens to BABA right?"

"Yep, and it doesn't matter. He's still a man. Hey, Mable could you go buy yourself some pancakes? My treat." Says Stan as he gives Mable money before she can ask more questions.

When she leaves, Stan turns to Dipper. "Okay, I've been too busy the last couple weeks to say and/or do anything. But no where on the subject. I'm proud of you buddy!" Exclaims Stan happily before getting serious again, "That being said; me, you and Wendy need to sit down and have a good long TALK about your 'extracurricular activities'. There starting to become a problem."

Dipper gulped then chuckled nervously, "Uh, activities? What kind of activities- "I'm talking you and Wendy boinking like rabbits EVERYWHERE. Now, it's only a matter of time before your sister gets back so get your naked but out of here before you traumatize her."

Dipper gaped, "How did you- "Do you really want to hear in detail how your gruncle has learned to tell when someone's hiding their shame through years of personal experience?" Asked Stan as he quietly took a towel from his pocket and wrung it up.

Dipper went a good shade of green. "No? Then get out of here slugger!" Said Stan with a smirk as he gave his rear a towel snap.

Dipper gave a squeal of pain but ran off- stopping only to get the food he ordered -right out the door just as Mable returned. "Hey, where'd Dipper go?" She asked confused. Stan smirked, "He's on a hot STREAK." He let out a laugh while Mable just looked at him confused...

...

Using Susan's nuggets to hide HIS 'Mini-nuggets' Dipper ran to Wendy's meeting spot. Despite being terrified and humiliated...Dipper couldn't help but admit he also felt excited about the whole thing...this summer had REALLY allowed him to branch and explore himself as a person! And just thinking of Wendy's naked body pressed against his-

**WHACK!**

Poor Dipper...never saw that club coming...

...

Wendy was worried...Dipper was taking FAR too long...

"Hey there, little lady!" Wendy groaned as Mr. Lenderman showed up. "Okay, what's the 'challenge' today?"

The seemingly hapless and uninteresting man said nothing, he simply handed her a piece of paper. Wendy read it, her eye's widened in horror.

It was a picture of a naked Dipper chained up and surrounded by a bunch of giant, hairy men. The words: **Go to the forest, do as the Manitour wish or you'll never see your friend again!**...written in blood on the bottom!

Wendy was frothing mad when she looked up, naturally the jerk had vanished as mysteriously as he'd come...without a word...she marched where the directions on the photo indicated...

...

Mr. and Mrs. Pines(as well as a good portion of the nation/world) watched the whole thing play out in horrified suspense.

Mr. Pines glared at his wife, "'Let's send them to my dad's brother's shack for the summer', you said. 'Better they get some fresh air then waste the summer indoors on their computers', you said. WELL THERE CERTAINLY GETTING PLENTY OF FRESH AIR! YOU HAPPY NOW!?"

Mrs. Pines just put her head in her hands and wept...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	17. Chapter 17

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Mr. and Mrs. Pines weren't having the best time... For weeks they'd had to watch their child risk life and limb...and have non-stop sex. And they couldn't look away! They try to look away? They get a headache. They close their eye's? Their eye's start to burn. They try to turn off or smash the TV? It suddenly becomes self-powered and indestructible. They try to leave the room? They immediately get teleported back in. They try to call for help? they get teleported back or their calls got interrupted.

So they had no choice but to put their sons fate in the hands of teenage nudist, amazonian, nymphomaniac...

...

Leaderar groaned in pain, it seemed like such a great idea! Kidnap the little wuss, tell the sexy red-head she had to make love to all of them, then get money from the suite...but everything fell apart after that!

After being told what they wanted, she said 'frack that' and begin to beat them up and slice off their who-who's. Speaking of which...he just got his cut off...and the girl was using it to break his teeth...repeatedly!

After they were all in a groaning pile, Wendy stepped forward...and got a snoutfull of gas as the room filled with it...

"My dear as entertaining as that was...you broke the rules...so here's your penalty..." Someone whispered into her ear as she went unconscious

...

It took some doing, but Dipper was FINALLY able to free himself and run around...sadly he saw an unconscious Wendy on top of several dozen brutally beaten manitour...he tries to wake her...but nothing doing.

He finds a sticky note covering her labia...it has a smiley face on it...and a note:

**You have five minutes to get her out before the place blows...**

And that's when the place begins to shake and fires start to pop up...

Dipper groaned...but he lifted Wendy...and dragged her to exit as the place began to collapse...

**GAH!**

And then the floor started to turn to lava...

"Oh, come on! That doesn't even make sense!" Shouts Dipper

...

Mr and Mrs Pines watched their child's imminent demise...thoughtfully. "well...I suppose there are worse girls for Dipper to be in a relationship with." States Mrs. Pines.

Mr. Pines nods, "A Very...UNIQUE, spirited girl, no doubt about that." He then turns to her, "If he dies, I'm divorcing you and taking Mable."

"That's fair." Said Mrs. Pines with a resigned sigh...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	18. Chapter 18

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Thankfully, Dipper remembered the ice spell and was able to freeze the lava long enough to get past, Plus it seemed like a freak hurricane had killed all the monsters outside so that was lucky.

When Wendy awoke she offered to reward him with anything he wanted...any crazy fantasy he'd always wanted to do...she'd MAKE it happen!

Dipper blushed...but told her...

...

The unicorn Twilight Sparkle happily read her books as she trotted through Ponyville deep within the enchanted forest. Nothing ever really happened her except for several years back when that 'faust' human came and studied them for a few months and had them sign legal waivers to allow her to use their appearances and names in a 'tv show' in exchange for monthly shipments of yummy cookies! YAY!

They didn't get many non-pony visitors around here, their section of the forest was cut off by man-eating brambles and swarms of vicious hornswagglers. _"You'd have to be a warrior amazon to get through all that...also a red-head since hornswagglers are fatally allergic to gingers."_ Thinks Twilight to herself as she enters her iconic tree house.

"Well, time to read my latest novel Neighwenian theories of the heart migrations of the laden swallow! I hope they get into rich debates on the pros/cons of African vs. European swallows!"

"I think you going to be swallowing something FAR tastier."

Twilight's eyes widen at the sight of two naked humans in her house, "Oh! Humans! This is a surprise! It's always good to meet new people!"

While Dipper just gulped flustered, Wendy just smirked. "Speaking of 'meeting' new people...how would you like to partake in a...sociological experiment to better human/pony ...'relationships'." She asks teasingly.

"Making new friends AND doing it scientifically?! Count me in!" Exclaims Twilight excitedly.

Wendy smirks, "Ah...nerd love, it's so adorable..."

...later...

Mr. and Mrs pines are horrified by what they see on TV, "THAT'S IT! NO MORE MONSTER ANIME AND NO MORE MY LITTLE PONY!" She screams.

Meanwhile, everyone at Bronycon was either rooting for Dipper living at their dream...or sobbing with jealousy...

...

"Thanks for having us! We'll come back soon!" Shouts Wendy as she carries a now VERY happy Dipper away...

A very flustered ALICORN Twilight, giggles. "Thank you two so much! You taught me new depths of friendship!...and my body!"

She limped with delight over to her desk and began to write...

"Dear Princess Celestia...why didn't you tell me losing my virginity was the key to becoming an alicorn? SEX IS WONDERFUL!"

...

Course, it wasn't all fun and games...Stan sat them both down and laid down some ground rules...like how it would probably best they stop having sex inside the shack...

It sucked, but Wendy agreed to it...besides, this just meant she had to get more CREATIVE...

...

"Oh, please no." Whimpered Mrs. Pines, "What now?" Groaned Mr. Pines.

...

Wendy looked at the Northwest mansion hungrily...more importantly she looked at the bedroom of a certain blonde spoiled brat...

"Today, I avenge you Great Grandfather Archibald." Said Wendy to herself...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	19. Chapter 19

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Pacifica Northwest was exhausted; 4 photo-shots, 7 débutante balls, and 15 award ceremonies! And as always she had to do the bulk of the work while her parents lounged about...jerks...

As Pacifica was almost to the end of the mile-long hallway toward her room...she heard a familiar noise...and groaned.

It would seem that once again one of her 'loving' parents were once more enjoying the company of one of their mistresses/boytoys...lucky fracks...

But then she realized something... "Wait...that sound...IT'S COMING FROM MY ROOM!" She screamed as she broke into a run. Her parents would never cheat on each other in her room...at least...she HOPED they wouldn't...

Shuddering as she tried not to think of THAT unsettling thought, she broke down her door...and her face immediately went with both mortification and rage!

**GET THE #%#$ #%%^#$$# OUT OF MY BED!**

She screamed as she grabbed a tazer from her hiding spot, both figures jump up and smash through the window. The bigger one get out alright, but the smaller one-

**ZAP!**

**GAH!**

Shouts Dipper as he falls to the ground sobbing, craddling his now smoking loins. Pacifca smirks, she'd seen it had been that nudist Corduroy who'd been giving him the 'squeeze'.

She steps on his back and threatens to zap his nuts again unless he explained exactley what they were doing. Dipper, still in pain...had no choice but to comply...giving Pacifca all the juicy details of everything he and Wendy had been doing...and whenever Pacifica wasn't satisfied with the info-

**ZAP!**

**GAH!**

Pacifica was at least merciful enough to pour water on his poor balls whenever the tazer set them afire...

Pacifica...found herself oddly excited...although disgusted by her parents bedside 'antics'...she'd be lying if she said she wasn't curious herself...about doing 'that'...and this boy had given her so many ideas! And as a bonus, that skank Corduroy would lose her boy toy.

But first...this boy needed to know his place. She took a gift from a local shaman. A special red stone that shrinks things. Unlike it's purple counterpart, it shrank things PERMANENTLY. So not even the blue growing crystal could undo it! Still in pain and under threat of more shocks to his poor balls...he could do nothing but watch helplessly as his already tiny genitals were shrunk even smaller! His dick was a mere centimeter in size when soft, when hard- which it was doing now out of fear and spasms -it got to three centimeters. Pacifica promptly shrunk his 'hard' down to a mere half centimeter...and when it got soft it was a mere 1/10th of a centimeter! then one by one his balls were shrunk from raisin-sized to sesame seed sized.

She then poured 'perma-nair' on his loins, so he'd be forever hairless downstairs...she then implanted a microchip in his scrotum...set to explode if he slept with anyone else but her, left her mansion...or went 24 hours without making love to her...

Terrified...yet also aroused...or 'scaroused'...Dipper complied...

...

Wendy, so busy running for her life and the attack hounds...didn't realize that Dipper wasn't with her till she made it back to the shack...

Knowing his fate, she resolutely headed back to the mansion. "I'm coming Dipper, hold on!" She shouts!

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	20. Chapter 20

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

Nightmare...just...a Nightmare...

Mrs. Pines honestly didn't know what was worse. Seeing her son being emasculated and essentially 'neutered'...or seeing how much it clearly turned him on...

Needless to say she was seriously considering gouging out her eye's...

"No! Don't gouge out your eyes! ...if you do that, how will you be able to gouge out my eyes then?" Asks Mr. Pines...

...

A very smug Pacifica was waiting on the property line as Wendy strolled up. "Well, if it isn't the red streaker of Gravity Falls. Enjoying flashing your goodies to everyone?" Pacifica snarked.

Wendy sneered, "At least I have something worth flashing, LITTLE girl."

Pacfica resisted the urge to cover her flat chest, that was always a sore spot.

"Look, you know why I'm here. Give me back Dipper and I won't rip you limb from limb." She threatend.

Pacifica smirked as she reactivated the laser fence and other security features. "I don't know how you disable the security system last time...but now that's it's reactivated, good luck getting back in!"

Wendy frowned, _"The security system was disabled? How- _She shook her head, that wasn't important now...she needed to get Dipper back! And...she knew just how to do it.

"Okay...how about we make this interesting? Tomorrow, at the Mystery Shack there's a Karaoke contest. You win, you keep Dipper and I have to do whatever you want. Opposite if I win."

Pacifica smirked, "Deal." She saunters back to mansion cockily. "I doubt he'll want to leave me regardless though...we've been having SO much fun together." She retorts behind her as she walks on.

Wendy fumed...oh, it was so on now!

...

Ordinarily Mable would be up for a party...but not now...her brother was missing...her back was still killing her...the recent raging stormy weather making going outside a nightmare...and now...

"Why is my brother naked?" Asked Mable disgusted.

"So, ready to do this?" Asked Pacifica smugly next to a tied up Dipper.

"Why is my brother naked?" Asked Mable again.

"How stupid do you think I am?" Wendy scoffs

"You really want me to answer that?" Responded Pacifica smugly.

"No, seriously. Why is my brother naked?"

"You think I don't know how you threaten or bribe everyone into doing what you want? I brought an impartial judge."

**S**tanley **Lenderman** popped up inexplicably. "Yes, this machine here will monitor young Dipper's 'enjoyment' level. Sing a song that makes him 'happier' and you win!"

"Why isn't anyone explaining to me why my brother is NAKED!?"

Shut it hunchback! Your terms are acceptable! 5! 6! 7! 8!"

(music starts)

She leans up next to Dipper

**I'm cold and I'm cruel**  
**But I knows what I'm doin'**  
**I pushed you in the pool**

She slams Dipper to the floor

**At our last school reunion**  
**I laugh at your dreams**  
**But you know you dream about my laughter**  
**Strange as it seems**  
**but you know I'm the one the one your after**

She grinds her heel into his groin...

**'cause I'm bittersweet**  
**I knock you off your feet**  
**And you know you can't help yourself**

She smiles as she hears the beeping off his 'enjoyment' meter going off...

**you know you don't want anyone else**  
**I'm a mystery**  
** and I know you think 'She's too much for me.'**  
**But you keep comin' back for more**  
**cause I'm just the girl your lookin' for**

She sits on his face and reclines...

**You can't keep a secret**  
**From me for more than an hour**  
**I runs on 100 proof attitude power**  
**And the more I ignore you**  
**The more you adore me**  
**What can you do?**  
**but think 'I'd do anything for her'**

She grabs him by the nuts and lifts him up...

**And when I see it's you**  
**On my caller ID**  
**I won't pick up the phone**  
**I'd rather be alone**  
**Cause I know you won't give up just yet**  
**Cause every word I've ever said**  
**Is still ringin' in your head**  
**Still ringin' in your head**

She lists him by his nuts even further...'enjoyment' beeping reaching a crescendo...

**I'm cold and I'm cruel**  
**But I knows what I'm doin'**  
**I Knows just what to say**  
**So your whole day is ruined**

She lifts him up higher as he sobs in pain...and makes out with him upside-down...

**Cause I'm Just the girl your lookin' for.**

(song ends)

She licks off his tears, drops him like a mic and swaggers off the stage...

Dipper sighed, "It's official...I'm SICK and I need help." He admitted resigned

Mable is too busy vomiting...

Wendy just ignores all this...and steps up...

(music starts)

She grabs Dipper and sings to him like he's a mic...

**I'm into superstitions**  
**Black cats and voodoo dolls**  
**I feel a premonition**  
**I'm gonna make you fall**

She throws him up into the air, catches him, dips him down and kisses him...

**I'm into new sensations**  
**New kicks in the candlelight**  
**I got a new addiction**  
**For every day and night**

She gives him a little toss in the air before catching him...

**I'll rip off your clothes and make you go dancing with me in the rain**

**She pauses to lean on a chair, pull a lever and have water dump on her naked body from above...**

**I'll make you live my crazy life, but I swear I'll take away your pain!**  
**Like a bullet to your brain, come on!**

She just keeps holding him above the ground, pressing him against her chest and dancing with him all over...

**Upside, inside out**  
**were's livin' la vida loca**  
**I'll push and pull you down**  
**Livin' la vida loca**  
**my lips are devil red**  
**And my skin's the color mocha**  
**I will wear you out**  
**Livin' la vida loca (Come on!)**  
**Livin' la vida loca (Come on!)**  
**were livin' la vida loca**

Dipper smiled...for the first time in hours...he felt safe, happy-

**Upside, inside out**  
**were livin' la vida loca**  
**I'll push and pull you down**  
**Livin' la vida loca**  
**my lips are devil red**  
**And my skin's the color mocha**  
**I will wear you out**  
**Livin' la vida loca (Come on!)**  
**were livin' la vida loca (Come on!)**  
**were livin' la vida loca**

-AND aroused(before it was ONLY the later, this was MUCH better).

**Upside, inside out**  
**were livin' la vida loca**  
**I'll push and pull you down**  
**Livin' la vida loca**  
**my lips are devil red**  
**And my skin's the color mocha**  
**I will wear you out**  
**Livin' la vida loca (Come on!)**  
**were livin' la vida loca (Come on!)**  
**Upside, inside out**  
**were livin' la vida loca**  
**I'll push and pull you down**  
**Livin' la vida loca**  
**my lips are devil red**  
**And my skin's the color mocha**  
**I will wear you out**  
**She's livin' la vida loca (Come on!)**  
**She's livin' la vida loca (Come on!)**

Pacifica snarled as the 'enjoyment' meter began to spark and burn...

**(Come on!)**  
**La vida loca**  
**La vida loca**  
**La vida loca!**

The machine explodes!

"What the frack just happened?" Said Mable in-between vomiting...

"Two girls fought over your brother, your brother choose love over freaky kinks, now I'm going to count the data, and we'll be back after these messages!" Shouts Stanley as he walks off...

"Huh?" Asked Mable.

"Also, she and your bro have been using your bed to make love."

Mable vomits again...rips off her clothes...burns her clothes...runs into the shower, lies on the ground in a troubled fetal position and sobs uncontrollably as the water washes over her...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**An: the songs are parodies of 'livin la vida loca' by Ricky Martin and 'just the girl' by 'The Click Five'.**

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	21. Chapter 21

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

She lost...

She; PACIFICA NORTHWEST...had lost...

She hadn't been surprised that Wendy had convinced that 'Stanley' guy to have Pacifica share her punishment...

Now she too would be naked all summer...

But as mortifying it had been to walk home naked...that wasn't the worst bit...

The worst bit was when she got home...

Her father was NOT happy!

...it had been a LONG night...

And the next week was worse...

As (additional) punishment for being a failure and a disgrace to Northwest name(HA! Hypocrite... If people only kne what he did on Thursday nights...and his deals with Iran) Pacifica was to be locked in the stockade completely naked and allow people to throw rotten fruit at her for 'charity'(the 'put money in the pocket's of underfunded billionaire' charity).

So she could do nothing but sit around helpless as she was pelted and her flat chest was gawked and laughed at...she hung her head in shame...and to hide her tears...

"Hey."

She looked up and found herself staring directly at some VERY familiar- but mostly tiny -loins.

Pacifica sighed, "Hello Dipper...here to gloat? Pelt me wit more rotten fruit?"

Dipper shook his head, "Nah, not really. In the brief time I spent with you...I got some suspicions about your family life...and this- he taps on the stockade she was locked in -all but confirm them..."

Pacifica gives him a surprised yet still scathing and embarrassed look. "Yeah...so what?" She admitted with a blush...and annoyance. If his willy were just a bit closer she'd totally be able to bite it off!

"So...I asked Stanley to give me all the incriminating footage he had on your dad and mom to blackmail them into retiring and handing their entire fortune to you...your dad was messed up! Who dose that to penguins? Seriously!"

Pacifica's eye's widen in disbelief... "he's...gone? I'm...free?" Dipper nods...and comforts her as she sobs her worries away...

She looks up to him...all his powerful, naked glory... "what happens now?"

"well...you have a choice apparently. Our whack-job of a host said that you can either get clothes but lose your fortune...or continue naked and be my servant and do challenges with Wendy to EARN your fortune at the end of the summer..."

Pacifica sighed...then blushed... "Uh..if I continue naked...could we-

"Wendy already said it was okay...but after summer will have to think of something more long-term...I got some ideas, so for now don't worry about it." Assured Dipper.

Pacifica nods, agrees...then gives a playfully chomp near his loins...

Dipper jumps away frightend...then smiles...then he gets a serious look on his face. "Listen...although your family treated you like crap...you did still kinda frak me over a bit...so I'd like to get one quick 'revenge' on you before I consider us square..."

Pacifca again sighs, but agrees to that as well. Really, she was getting off easy and she knew it...

"I give you two choices: Stay in this stockade for the rest of the day and all night...or I give you a nasty purple nurple on both sides of your billboard chest and ravish that sweet rear of yours- with your consent -while your still in the stockade...which will it be?"

...

Mrs. Pines was REALLY torn...on the one hand: her son just helped a girl escape her abusive family...on the other...she was going to have to watch him have sex AGAIN!

"Please choose the first, Please choose the first, Please choose the first, Please choose the first, Please choose the first, Please choose the first." She silently pleaded over and over...

...

Pacifica smiles..."The second." Dipper gulps...he'd honestly been hoping for the first...him giving the second as an option had been a mandatory part of Wendy's deal...he REALLY hadn't wanted to do this in public...but a deal was a deal...and honestly...as messed up as it was...Pacifica was cute...

...

Both parents sob but resign themselves to what's about to happen...

...

Mable skipped along to a large commotion, she heard that Dipper was here so she pushed through the crowd.

"Hey Dipper! Guess what?! I found the true founder of Gravity Falls and he made me a senator! I'm going to legali- OH SWEET BUNYAN MY EYES! IT BURNS!" Mable ran screaming and vomiting...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	22. Chapter 22

**Tales of the Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

**ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

**SUMMARY:**  
**On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

**The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...responses...

...III...

**BOOM!**

Things could've been going better for Mable...

**BOOM!**

After learning the REAL reason her bed/back had been messed up for awhile...

**BOOM!**

"You owe me a new bed!" She'd screamed in disgust...

**BOOM!**

Plus, having learned said reason...she finally noticed her brother going about naked all the time!

**BOOM!**

"Here! Dipper! Clothes! WEAR" Shouted Mable as she practically threw her latest 'work' at him.

**BOOM!**

"Sorry Mable, but pretty sure the girls will destroy any clothes I try to put on. So pass."

**BOOM!**

And then of course there was the whole walking in on her brother BANGING GIRLS!

**BOOM!  
**

She didn't know why her luck ran out...

**BOOM!**

But she remembered seeing it the first time...

**BOOM!**

Mabel had thrown up while fleeing...

**BOOM!**

causing her to slip and fall on her back before throwing up again...

**BOOM!**

UP. Into the air. And Gravity made sure the vomit falls on her face...

**BOOM!**

And now they were killing all these cute piggies!

**BOOM!**

And Mrs. Corduroy has a 5 lead as she blows up another bushel of pigs!" Shouts Lenderman. Mable just sighs as she kept an umbrella between her and the rain of pig parts...

...

With the contest over and all the pigs dead, the girls enjoy the fair with Dipper. They long stopped caring about hiding themselves from the public(after that very public karaoke competition, it was a moot point anyway)

So all three of them were just walking around in the buff. Wendy's Carpe Diem attitude had long since evolved in a 'I don't give a f***' attitude. And although Pacifca was normally more bashful, she was on a bit of an adrenaline high from killing all those dumb pigs...and wining the 'most covered in pig guts award'...to currently care what people thought of her nudity.

Only Dipper was embarrassed, covering himself. Despite everything he wanted to have a good time with the girls today...which for once actually didn't mean they would just have sex all day. They were just going to spend the day having regular(minus the nudity) fun at the fair...also last nights nine hour marathon dislocated Dippers poor doodle and they needed to give it a break to recover...

In any case, since all of Mable's attempts to clothe him had been thwarted by the girls...now he could only cover himself...

This did not go unnoticed, unfortunately...

"Oh, no. If we gotta go through this, so do you." Said Pacifica firmly as she quickly ties his hand behind his back before he could do anything.

"Pacifica don't do that...how's he going to eat?" Says Wendy with a teasing smirk.

Dipper hears the snickers and comments of...'My pinkie toe is bigger then that', 'My newborn baby is bigger then that...' His face goes a great crimson...

"Tell you what Dipper, I'll untie you...IF you give us a 'helicopter'.

Dipper gulped...but conceded...he try to swish his willy...but it was just too dang tiny... Everyone hotted and hollered at the whispers to him, "Keep at it...you do it...I'll reward you later." Now More determined then ever, he tries to give it one more good swish...

**CRACK!**

**POP!**

**GAH!**

And his dislocation suddenly got WORSE, popping his balls and dick, clean out of it's socket and was sent flying...

Panicked, Pacifica calls for an ambulance while Wendy looks for Dippers poor schlong...

Sadly...some moron bumped into her before she could stop it from landing in a deep fryer...where it was destroyed and it's remains were accidentally eaten up by Candy Chui when it got mixed in her curly fries...

"Yum! I don't know why, but this was the tastiest thing I ever eaten!" She exclaimed while Wendy just looked in stunned despair...

...

Mr. and Mrs. Pines just gaped in horror...

...

So a now neutered Dipper was sent to the hospital. The doctor confessed it was unlikely they'll be able to replace it...as there was no other genitals that small in the world...

The two girls sat on the bench in despair, the day ruined...angry and saddened over the fact main bright spot of their summer was now over- Oh! But mostly their friends pain and misfortune! Yep, that's clearly the most important priority. Nothing else! Forget that first bit, it was not important in the least!(They would hastily say to anyone who asked, which convinced NO ONE.)

Suddenly Wendy sees the jerk who stopped her earlier and ran to pummel him. She learned it was a time-travler named Blendin Blandin.

Naturally, they demanded his time-tape.

Naturally, he refused...

And naturally, they beat him up, threw him in the dumpster and took it anyway...

**ZAP!**

...

So this time, they simply decided to let Dipper cover himself and not bring it up at all...

"Oh, I've always wanted that ghost harassers key chain!" Exclaimed Dipper as he walked up to a both. The girls- having taken all his money so he couldn't buy clothes -happily pay for it for him(they pay for everything for him, their not cruel after all...they just want him to stay naked.).

"Alright!" Shouted Dipper as he leaned forward to grab the keychain from the carnie. Sadly, Dipper accidentally bumps into a commemorative pioneer day bear-trap, that falls off the counter onto Dipper and-

**CHOMP!**

**GAH!**

Screamed Dipepr as his willy and balls were effectively sliced cleanly off. The girls, stunned by this bout of Dja Vu, were to slow to stop his willy being kicked into a nearby meat grinder...were it was immediately ground up into nuggets for an eager Candy to dine on.

"Wow! Best nuggets I've ever eaten!" She exclaims happily...

The girls just gape at the carnage...

Wendy began, "WHAT."

Pacifica continued, "THE."

...

-FRACK!?" Finished Mr. and Mrs. Pines in horrified disbelief...

And this began the most frustrating day of their lives...

...III…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


End file.
